Sunday, August 21, 2011

Realizing I've Watched Myself Branch Out

   It's easy for your parents and relatives to realize you're growing up. They practically mention how much I've been growing up every time I attend parties. Going to family gatherings, I was always reminded of how grown up I was getting till the point where it wasn't as shocking to me as when I was little. There were always my aunties, uncles, grandmas, etc. noticing of how tall I've grown or compliments such as how a beautiful, mature young lady I've grown to be, but there were those 'boyfriend' questions that didn't seem to keep me enthusiastic or thrilled. Somehow, it quite bugged me, but I realized, it's hard to know yourself if you're growing up because how will you notice that you are becoming more independent, responsible, taller, or maturer unless you stop to think yourself? 
   Through my elementary and middle school days, I was always the girl who could never keep her mouth shut in class. It was always "Angelica, will you please sit down and listen?" other times, "Angelica, are you listening to the lesson we are discussing in class right now?". Basically, I was a huge trouble maker. I loved to joke around all the time, although I knew that finishing my work in class and doing my homework on time was important or else I would get in trouble by not only the teacher, but my parents as well. I was disciplined enough to know my limits involving when not and when to be serious in class. 
   Around those years, my mom would always remind me to explore my interests now, so it will be easier to realize what I want to be when I grow up later. I would look at some of my friends everyday who would tell me that if they didn't get straight A's their parents would kill them. I for one was an "average student", with parents who told me, "your grades don't really matter until you go to high school, but a C and below is not acceptable!". I've always had an idea in life, to make sure I end on a good note. My parents raised me to understand, "It's not how I start, but how I finish". I take those words personally in everything I do or attempt to try. 
    Once high school came around the corner, I stopped to think if it was going to be as serious as my parents warned me it would be. All I could think about is, "I hope I get easy classes!" But that wasn't the case, starting Freshman year, I was much more concerned about "fitting in" because I was going to Moanalua instead of my district high school, Farrington. High school started becoming much more fun than I expected it to be, until I realized that taking MeneMac as my G.E. was getting to be really difficult. My classes were getting harder than I was usually used to. I wasn't so concerned until I started dropping my grades, this was when I realized that my parents were right. And just as I promised my parents, I would focus on grades more in high school. I started observing how other student could manage being in either a sport or after school activity and still be able to keep up with grades because I was planning on getting involved later on in my high school years.
    I think I didn't stop to realize how far I've gotten in my achievements until now, when I started Sophomore year. I stopped to look back and remember my freshman year, not being able to know how to study, or manage other things rather than just grades, and how to keep up in classes and still be able to fit in and make friends still wondering how I was ever going to make it through high school successful and make my parents proud of me in the end.
    I look at myself now, just as I dreamed or pictured it, not being aware that I am living my goal I planned only a year ago. Reviewing everything different from my Freshman year, I am a JV cheerleader, I know how to study for tests, I am more aware of keeping up with my classes, my grades are my first priority before anything, and it's getting easier to make friends because I am friendlier and have a better self esteem to try new things like running for homecoming attendant for the Sophomore class and I am even planning on getting involved in other things. I have gained so much confidence due to the achievements I've made so far. Just speaking to my mom a couple days ago in the car after she watched me as I cheered for a football game at school, she told me how proud she was of me. Noticing how mature and responsible I was getting, and how much more aware I was about my grades rather than my Freshman year. And as I stopped to think as well, I also realized how proud I was of myself knowing I achieved everything on my own.

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