Saturday, November 27, 2010

First Draft of KC3 (World War II: Science & Technology of our Economy today)

Since the World War II, many things have happened through our economy to help improve ways to prevent misfortunes such as the bombing of Pearl Harbor. U.S. military has come up with a variety of ways to help improve our science & technology every day. We have developed better engineered weaponry, state of the art equipment, but also energy saving designed. We have scientists working hard every day looking for the next great discovery, creating jobs in cutting-edge technologies and making smart investments that will help businesses in every community succeed in a global economy.
In contributing $3 billion in 2007 to the state's economy, private technology companies represent only a small percentage of overall earnings in Hawaii's business sector. It although did create new jobs. It notes that much of the state's growth in technology industries is based on federal government spending in research and development in areas such as space research and related defense industries.
In Maui County, growth in technology industries was primarily a result of projects funded by the federal Department of Defense, in aerospace research as well as information technology, the report said, "driven partly by the activities occurring at the Maui High Performance Computing Center and the Haleakala High Altitude Observatory Site”. But it also noted that Maui County is increasingly attracting alternative energy programs in use of wind, solar and biofuels.
While a 2007 report said the tax credit supported $1 billion in investment in Hawaii, at a cost of $167 million in tax revenues, the program has been criticized for failing to create sufficient numbers of permanent jobs. Agencies such as the Maui Economic Development Board have been promoting educational programs for STEM (science, technology, engineering and mathematics), starting in grade schools with a long-range goal of providing a trained and stable work force for industries that might come to Hawaii, or developing entrepreneurs who would create their own technology-based businesses. Wilkins said the economic development boards and companies in Hawaii recognize the wage differential among private technology businesses. But she said the wage differential for technology jobs in Hawaii is not unique. MEDB President Jeanne Skog added that Hawaii still has a location advantage, particularly with specialists who grew up in the islands.
Although in many different cases, the growing of our technology and science has brought upon a problem for Hawaiians and many other citizens in Hawaii. Military have used sacred places to test out their new equipment. This has created a big conflict over the years. Most Hawaiians have found it disrespectful to be using these parts of the land. Especially when used to test out certain weapons, explosives, etc. But overall, we should be very proud of the success our Economy has made over the years in improving our technology today.

3 comments:

  1. Hey angie. You did a nice job tying everybody's subtopics together. I think it would be better if you focused more on YOUR subtopic for this draft. So we get more information put out on how the military affected hawaii's science and technology (:

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  2. Hey Ang,
    I really liked how you introduced your topic in your first 2 paragraphs, it helped me understand what you were going to do your essay on. On the other hand though, i do agree w/ tati that you should explain & give more specific details on how the science & technology in the military affects Hawaiis's economy in your body paragraphs. W/ a little more research, your essay will turn out spectacular (:
    -Sziezel Pascua

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  3. Hi Angelica,

    I agree with your teammates: you need to do a better job of connecting your essay with your thesis. It's like your essay is in two separate halves right now--the military part and the technlogy part. In a cause and effect relationship, the two are connected.
    You need to show how the increased military presence in Hawaii affected technology and science here.
    NOTE: This is the same comment I made on your draft. I do not see much change or revision since that time. As your teammates suggest, this requires MORE RESEARCH.
    Let me know if you need help.
    mrs s

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